Dakuan

Dakuan (pro. dah-koo-ahn; born October 4, 1917) is a member of the M-san Bunch and also the oldest human member. He is an elderly master ninja who works as a spy for the MsB. Despite his age, he still has plenty of useful tricks up his sode (that's Japanese for sleeve, for those who love "kawaii desu" fun facts involving "a cherished culture"!); he has the ability to camouflage himself to literally blend in with his surroundings, much like a chameleon. Like Kevin Cheng, he is also very short (being only 4'1"), which means he can hide in almost any gap; he can even heal at an amazingly fast rate (about the rate of Arachne), although he can still die from fatal wounds or severe poison. He also carries around a Buddhist monk's that can extend to 30 feet, which he can use not only to defend himself from enemies, but also to reach high places. Though he is not as strong and agile as he used to be, he is still very wise and he gives useful advice to the younger MsB members. In his youth, Dakuan was known to be quite a bisexual swinger and, for the most part, had no shortages of "mates" of both genders. He is still openly bisexual nowadays, though his advanced age has taken a heavy toll on his testosterone (which is why he's a "once and done" type of member; he has very limited sperm capacity), libido, and penis size (he went from 1 meter to 15.8" 'flaccid, of course', which isn't too bad for an elderly male). He also addresses most MsB members (especially younger) with the honorific "chan", regardless of their age and/or gender (e.g., "M-chan", "AK-chan", "OVA Belldandy-chan", "Shunsui-chan", etc.), though many members find this extremely annoying. Somehow, he is also a smart farmer, since farming reminds him of the "good old days". His fruit, vegetables, etc. seem to contain a very high amount of nutrition, but not enough to restore the really hard erections he'd get from gay sex with Drew Pickles' ancestors, who he swung onto as soon as their "Swell 18th" had occurred.

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