Cai Wenji

Cai Wenji (pro sigh wen-gee; born April 26, 1983) is a member of both the M-san Bunch and the Nonsexist Bunch. She is a kind, caring, peaceful, gentle, intelligent, and pure-hearted woman who believes the best way to reduce misandry, provide philandry, and achieve true equality is through peaceful solutions rather than violence. She joined the MsB, because she knew it was the best way she could repay "Second Herr" after he had saved her from being beaten to death by Fatty Bear. She is a very gifted musician known for her harp and erhu (Chinese violin) masterpieces, as well as for her poetry. Her music and poems are much loved by the MsB/NSB for their messages of philandry and gender-friendly lyrics, respectively. However, in times of war, despite her disdain for violence, she can create powerful Genjutsu by playing notes on her harp. More remarkably, she can also use her well-crafted harp(s) to create healing spells to heal her comrades' wounds as well as her own. This makes her a formidable opponent to many of the MsB's enemies. However, if her harp is destroyed in battle (she only brings one with her, because carrying two harps would cause immense pain), she becomes virtually defenseless, and has to rely on other M-san Bunch members to protect her (she does not main at physical combat in the slightest, since most of her muscle mass is around the neck, butt, and breasts). She also possesses a H-cup bust that, despite having a slow lactation speed rate of only 35 liters per second, can hold a maximum capacity of 5,000 liters (the capacity isn't too bad, but that's under three minutes of lactation overall). Her breast milk is also strawberry-flavored and contains 0% lactose. However, her other major downside is that she suffers from an unknown, rare medical condition that prevents her from experiencing orgasms via vaginal sex; when anything penetrates her vagina, she experiences unbearable and excruciating pain (Sita wishes that she could swap vaginas with her). Because of this, many heterosexual/bisexual male MsB members try their best to avoid contact with her "love-hole" and find other ways of "mating" with her, so she tries to keep her bum as clean as it gets, since her libido is rather high (she goes the anal route in order to make up for her condition, but her muscular breasts can be used for titty-fucking). She considers both "Herrs", ROTK Guan Yu, and OVA Belldandy to be her best friends (with the latter-most being the only particular one who isn't a sexual "mate", but rather an ally of philandry), though she respects all the other M-san Bunch members, regardless of gender and/or orientation, equally. Her erhu is never seen in battle, because the magic is far less powerful than her harp, which is one of her only sources of power. Plus, she refuses to attempt projectile lactation like Felina Feral does, along with being reluctant when using firearms. Her other hobby includes building establishments with Bi-Choke, who also builds establishments as a hobby (their completion rate is rather quick, so one week will always result in major differences).

Although she seldom has an unkind word for anyone, deep down inside, she harbors a burning hatred for Justin Bieber fans, chiefly because they prefer Bieber's shitty excuse for music over her meaningful masterpieces (she has similar feelings for Rebecca Black fans, albeit not as harsh).